tropicalfucko:

blacklion:

cursedcatpictures:

chandabeard:

Find someone as sleepy as you.

Coexhaust.

shitpostinguniverse:

amongthespaghetti:

slab-o-meat:

*over the loudspeaker at ikea* FIRST BLOOD

i think if i, in the flesh, heard that in an ikea some primal part of me would break out and smash a norrnäs over the closest person’s head

dykealmyers:

freddied krueger: welcome to your nightm

me:*remembers this is MY dream and i can do WHATEVER i want!!!!!!!!!!!*

pancakeke:

>after a long hard day on the ranch

wnveevnw:

Me when I’m mad at my brain cells

approach:

doctor: sir, i’m sorry. the results are in and i’m afraid you have updog

patient: wh- what’s updog

doctor, calling a nurse on the hospital’s intercom: KAREN GET IN HERE I TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT

straightboyfriend:

all boys are demons but i want one to love me